The ability for anyone or anything to pull me out of my balance, out of my peace of mind, directly points to my desire for control. Desire for someone to behave in a particular way, or for a situation or experience to go a particular way, is a desire to control an outcome or experience. It frequently relates to controlling another person. It is to have an agenda.
When I have an agenda, I am judging a person or situation, and thinking that I know more about what is right for them than they do. Or, than all of the other people/factors involved do. (Trying to keep this generic is tough!!) It puts me out of order with the other stakeholders, makes me feel bigger than them. If I were to apply a heat map (ok, perhaps I made this idea up, but it gets the point across of mapping the energetic size of all stakeholders), I would be bigger than the others.
In political terms, I want more than 1 vote. I do not want to participate in a process of equals, where everyone gets 1 vote, I want to control an outcome. This is always wrong. It implies that I think I know what is best for other people, or know better than other people.
Whenever I have an agenda, I have tunnel vision. I am a predator. It is never my business to have an agenda for another person. I can only have an agenda for myself. When I remember this, my lens widens, my gaze softens, I can hear and see the other person again. And I am back in my place as a member of a group.
A short-cut to this process goes like this:
Healing the desire to control, every time I feel it, is freeing, grounding, peaceful, and healing. It releases me to be exactly who I am, without worry for how anyone around me perceives or experiences me. It connects me to the Divine, and releases the hooks from my relationships.
Blessing all who cross my path, and blessing all who pass by. All is perfect.
Norma Van Horn