If anything I said or did triggered you, offended you, hurt you, it is yours to heal.
And, if anything you said or did triggered me, offended me, hurt me, it is mine to heal.
That is where our freedom, and our power, is.
As the old buddhist adage goes, 'how we do anything is how we do everything.' Our stress responses are our stress responses, and they are what we all turn to when fear gets triggered. There is no moral high ground in stress responses, they are all our ingrained, culturally (and personally) conditioned ways of trying to feel safe in an unsafe moment. Of controlling our environment.
By definition, we use them when we feel unsafe, when we have left our bodies. "Turning toward the light," or high vibration aspirations, or denying what is happening, are as much a stress response as any other. The people putting these messages into the world are in pain also.
Asking someone to change their behavior so that we can feel peaceful, or not shamed, or not judged, is also a stress response based on controlling the outside environment. It predicates our wellbeing on another person changing their behavior so that we don't feel ... something.
It would be ideal to see any behavior that is not grounded in *peace,* by anyone, as a stress response, and as such to see it with compassion, rather than asking anyone on the outside to change.
And then, to heal ourselves by seeing that any time we feel disturbed peace it is a radical call inward, to honor the pain, and to embody the body.
"I honor your path," is all we ever need to give anyone.
Blessings for the road.
Where we judge another
Where we judge (or feel judged by) another we are entangled with it/them. We believe we know better for it/them what is right for their life than they do. This overrides their (our) sovereignty, how could we (they) possibly know better than they (we) do what is right in their (our) life?
Where we are entangled shows us where we are not yet free, where we leak our power. In this state we take responsibility for something that is not ours - their fate. (Or we give them responsibility for ours.)
Freedom lies in honoring their (our) fate, releasing it back to them (us), and respecting the sovereignty of all.
Nature. We can’t heal in the same toxic environment in which we absorbed and took on the disease. It’s like trying to stay sober at a St. Patrick’s Day party. There’s nothing to attach to. It’s simply a mismatch and we will continually be in conflict, never in flow. We must heal in an environment that supports healing, where we can hear our deepest truth. An environment that embodies the wholeness we are remembering, recreating, re-absorbing in ourselves. That speaks to our True Nature.
This is chrysalis work, it restores us to our original blueprint. It cannot be done within the same soup that reinforces something completely different. It cannot be done at warp speed. It is an intentional dismantling of that cultural soup. It requires a cultural context that reinforces and supports and lives this deeper truth. It requires nature.
This energetic webbing is everywhere. And, even within the webbing, I am still free.
I release at all. It is not mine to carry. It is the web of life, longing to be free. It is the web of life that longs to be free, not me. That yearning, that barrier, it is not mine to carry. It is the energy of life that longs to be free. I release it all now, and return it to itself. I have faithfully carried it to here, now, this point at which it longs to return to itself. I release it all now, with honor for all. I release it all now, Back to itself.
All the invisible webs, all around. All the shackles on the inside. They long for each other, I was simply the host. I really see it all now. May the healing begin. Feel with the heart into that energy, into the energy of the web and the webs. And then gently release. All the webs that are not mine to carry. It is the maya, the illusion. All the energy that is not mine to carry. It’s OK, let it go. It can handle it. I cannot. I can no longer handle carrying this energy. It belongs to the energy of life, and it needs it. I do not.
When we see the web of interconnected life all around us, and also see that we are free within it, we see that nature wants back anything that is not ours to carry. All those layers, all those beliefs, all those barriers, in a way that I do not understand but can only feel, nature wants them back.
All that stirred energy is life calling it back, calling itself back. Ready to receive. Like a lizard shedding its skin, but on the inside. Shedding those internal energy layers.
Stop fighting for that on the outside which can only be found on the inside.
I cannot interpret for another what any of this means, I can only faithfully express what is revealed in these woods and in my true nature. Whatever its unique meaning is to a reader, is for you, to hear. I bless you on your journey and discovery. I honor the same in my own.
I Need Validation
I need validation. Really...why? Do you really? Yes, because I might be “wrong.” Wrong comes from the head. What is the truth in the body? When there is a conflict, there is not listening. There is an agenda.
We know the truth of another threatens us when we judge it. When we feel superior or inferior to it, rather than seeing it as simply the truth of another. Why does the truth of another threaten us? Probably because we are not yet at peace with our own truth. We judge and fear our own truth.
I feel terrified that I am so wild and undomesticated that I am no longer fit for the culture. That I will lose everything (on the outside). The deepest fear is that I will be judged and shunned. It has happened before. And, when it happened, I wasn’t listening, either. Because if I was really listening I would’ve seen that this was a mismatch, and I would’ve honored it. They did for me what I was unwilling to do for myself.
There was a mismatch, and I was using them. I didn’t respect their ways.
Even now, I do not respect the ways of the culture, and yet I am on willing to let it go. I still feel like a victim.
What do I need to let go of now? Judging myself. A wolf does not judge its hunger, it merely satisfies it. Judging my truth. Judging my ways. Judging my needs.
I so deeply want to be important in the outside world. Which, as I know, means I want to feel important in my inside world. That is the root pain. When I feel important on the inside, I have no need for the validation on the outside.
And then, freedom: "It is my intention to release all barriers that I hold to embodying my divine true nature."
On Being a Victim
The behavior of another hurts because it is a place where we still harm ourselves. Otherwise we simply see it for what it is: another persons coping technique. Another person’s pain. Why would we ever take another person’s pain personally? Instead of with compassion? Because it points to our pain, and in that way we are entangled. Until we see it clearly and choose to release it.
To choose the deeper truth beneath it.
And...we have to feel how being shackled feels on the inside in order to release it. We have to choose freedom. This choice is the act of growing up. And we have to choose freedom on the inside before we see freedom on the outside.
Any place we feel guilt is a place we need to grow up. Feeling guilt keeps us small. Ironically, where we feel small are the places we have left our bodies. True embodiment is a feeling so big and full and complete on the inside, so whole, there is no room for anything else.
And, guilt is living in the past. Embodiment is living fully embodied in the present.
The world does not you need you small and controllable, the world needs you strong and powerful and complete.
The places where we give away our power are places where we do not yet trust ourselves. We cannot heal those places until we see them for what they are. We cannot take responsibility for our pain when we see ourselves as a victim. The antidote is to trust ourselves above all else. And embody and live from that truth.
And we trust ourselves when we listen to our deepest truth, and embody that truth faithfully.
Guilt stems from a belief that I am responsible for anyone else’s well being. Guilt is a call to self-care. Whatever the guilt is, whatever the statement is, whatever the shame is, it is a mirror pointing in words to what we ourselves actually need. A place where we need to plug our own leaky holes. I am not responsible for the well-being of anyone or anything. I am responsible for my own well-being. True well-being, which means embodying myself. When I do this, I am whole. When I am whole, I act in ways of equality, sovereignty, dignity. In that state only, do I do no harm on the outside. Wholeness on the inside means no harm done on the outside.
Norma Van Horn