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Force, no matter how concealed, begets resistance.- Lakota proverb

11/4/2018

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From the moment he was born, this is the wisdom that my youngest son has taught.  He is his own person, and he will do things his way - or die trying.  He lives his life on his own terms, following his own heart.  And he is consistent and egalitarian in his application of this philosophy - to parents, grandparents, strangers.  It is in his DNA, it is not personal (hello power struggle), and it is brilliant.  It makes me rethink what I value and prioritize, and why, and (now that I see the beauty and wisdom in it) I am regularly grateful for the lesson.

We live in a culture that values schedules, activities, predictability, discipline, and being at a place at a certain time.  This is not how he is wired.  He is wired to float, to play, to be in the moment, to be present.  To be immersed in living and in whatever activity captures his attention.  He is strong and capable and compassionate, and so very joyful.  His humor is quirky and clever, and he gives us irrepressible belly laughs.

This is also inconvenient.  Trying to get him out the door to pre-school on time was deeply painful and challenging - and we went thermonuclear trying to get him to "obey" more times than I care to remember.  Now that I see more clearly the beauty and importance of living his way.  Living, not doing.  I love his steadfast and clear boundaries, and pure sense of dignity and autonomy.  He is an unstoppable force and an immoveable object. When he says yes he means yes, and is in with his whole heart, and when he says no he means no, and is out with his whole heart.  He reminds me that it is ok to say no, and to not compromise what is truly important.  He is wild at heart, free and strong.

He will do things his way, and the world will be a better place for his wildness.
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    Norma Van Horn

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