Our inner state, in any given moment, is the culmination of where we were born, when we were born, our DNA, the household that we grew up in, the culture that we grew up in, and every single life experience (good/bad/other) that we have had up until this very moment, combined with the exact energy happening within/around us at any given moment.
Wrap your head around that.
Our inner state is a complex, evolving, responding, dynamic.
It is a moving target and, it is ours alone.
Which is why two people can experience the exact same situation or event or phenomena, and have two very different perceptions and experiences of it. They can give it two entirely different meanings.
This is why we cannot take the judgement, or perceived judgement, that another has of us, personally.
Because it isn’t. It’s about their entire lives up until that moment, colliding with the energy of this moment, and then superficially overlapping with us.
(This is why we are a mirror for others, and they for us.)
But we humans, and westerners in particular, are notoriously good at taking the (perceived) judgements, comments, observations, beliefs, perceptions, etc of others personally. And then allowing it to affect our wellbeing.
And then our well-being is precariously dangling on the jagged rocks of another human beings lifetime of accrued life experiences, combined with the energy of the moment, and how those experiences filter and engage with our energy, at that moment in time.
Cirque du Soleil couldn’t navigate this balancing act. Seriously.
It is the epitome of disempowerment to take the perceived judgements of another about us at face value, to take anything personally…as if it actually means something about us.
And, it is equally disempowering to ask others to give us our value, through their (perceived) approval and validation…which is also nothing more (and nothing less) than the accrued lifetime of experiences combined with the energy of the current moment.
If you find yourself doing this, here are some ideas to consider:
- If you had had every single life experience that the other person has had, if you’d been born into that household, to that family, on that exact same time and day, and had every life experience they have had, you would be having the exact same response right now. If anything about it is personal, it is deeply personal to them, not you.
- Another’s perception of you does not make their perception empirically true, it makes it true for them, right now. Nothing more.
- Taking another persons perceived experience of me personally, and giving it the power to affect my well-being, rather than seeing it as their truth, a product of their autobiography, at this moment in time, is like someone else’s calories causing me to gain weight. Ick, right?!
- And finally: taking the judgement (good or bad) of another person personally is a learned pattern. We were not born doing this, we learned to do this through the cultural conditioning process. We hold these patterns energetically within the body. Because this pattern was learned, and because it’s just energy, and because we are comprised of energy, we can release it. We can unlearn it. We can give it back to the Energy of Life to be free, as all energy is meant to be.
The Embodied Root Wholeness process is one way of releasing these stuck energetic patterns. If you’d like to learn more, reach out for a FREE 15-minute chat.
Blue skies, y’all,
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Norma Van Horn