How much time and energy do we spend every day, ruminating on what another has done to us, or not done for us, or how they have affected us in some way? Maybe they didn't respond the way we felt we needed/deserved/wanted. Maybe they didn't love us how we felt we needed to be loved. Maybe they offended, rejected, hurt, us in some way, big or small.
How much time every day do we spend in disturbed peace by the actions of another?
A lot. These painful, unmet emotional needs are on a constant loop in our heads, affecting our peace, our energy, and our lives.
And, there is no need, ever, to be affected by the choices or behavior of another. They are sovereign beings. We are a sovereign being. We come together when both say "yes!" and we go our separate ways if one or the other says "no." It's truly as simple as that.
But instead, we have agendas for others. At the root, we want to control their response to us, their behavior. We want them to change so that we can be happy. In the framework of the Peace Power Process, that is using force over another. It disconnects us from our own source of power and peace - which is always whole and complete and peaceful, regardless of what is happening on the outside.
In truth, other peoples behavior only affects us because we believe that it means something about us. If we follow the pain or fear inside deeply enough, at its root, is a belief that there is something fundamentally wrong, flawed, monstrous, awful, etc about us. That is why it hurts so much. That is the deepest wound that we believe/fear the behavior of another means.
And, after hundreds of experiences of using the Peace Power Process with myself and others, the freeing news is that these beliefs are never true.
The deepest underlying painful belief is only a coping technique acquired through living with others that are also using their coping technique for surviving what our emotions cannot understand. They are stories that we believe about ourselves...and, they are never true. As Rumi famously said, "Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it." These beliefs are the barriers we hold to knowing our true nature.
It is possible to release the barriers, these painful underlying energetic patterns and beliefs, that we hold within ourselves that need the approval, love, acknowledgement, control, validation, admiration, support, like, filling, reflection, completion, to be seen, etc, of another.
And, on the other side of this pain is a freedom so complete, a peaceful sense of fullness so full, a reconnection to our own innate human power, that it actually feels Divine. And we truly need nothing from anybody, to be happy. Everything is perfect, just as it is. And we are in complete integrity, in the original meaning of the word (meaning: wholeness).
This is the act of growing up. Of taking complete responsibility for our own happiness, within ourselves, by ourselves, for ourselves. We need nothing from anybody - our cup is so full that we are only able to express love.
And, this awareness and power are completely possible, reproducible, teachable, and available to everyone, at any time. We are all wired for this connection to this innate part of ourselves. It is our deepest truth, its only been covered over by painful coping techniques, the barriers.
The Peace Power Path is an energetic self-healing tool that restores our connection to, and awareness of, our innate personal peace and power. Our True Nature.
It's a gentle, reproducible, teachable process of reflection and release, which removes the barriers we hold within ourselves to knowing our true power, our innate personal peace. Of restoring our connection to that timeless, full and complete part of ourselves.
The result is greater clarity, increased personal awareness, feeling more grounded, feelings of freedom and wholeness, deepened connection to ourselves, healed relationship dynamics, a more opened heart, and more. Peace, power.
Removing these layers of the onion, over time and with practice, create larger shifts and even deeper transformation.
Here's how it goes:
1. See it.
See the need: "I see this painful underlying energetic pattern, this acquired coping technique, this painful belief of using others to complete me, fill me, reflect me, see me, support me, like me, acknowledge me, love me, admire me, validate me, approve of me, etc. [Fill in the blank.]"
Go a layer deeper, and see what it really means about you. Ask yourself, "What does this mean about me?" and wait for the deeper, more painful, most shameful answer to emerge. Your body wants you to know. And, trust that whatever is revealed is not true. But seeing what is being released is part of the process.
2. Honor it.
"I see that I acquired this shield, this energetic pattern: from my family, from my culture, from my ancestors, from trauma. And I repeated it. This coping technique, this belief, kept me safe when I didn't know how to keep myself safe. I survived what I needed to survive. For this I give it honor."
3. Release it.
"Because I acquired and repeated this painful energetic pattern, I can release it. I can give it back. I can unlearn it. This coping technique, this painful belief, keeps me small."
And then, "My true nature is fearless and wild and free. When I carry this coping technique, I am unable to carry all that is fully and uniquely mine to carry. I now choose differently."
And finally, "I release this painful underlying energetic pattern fully, at its deepest root connection, and return it to the highest original source, with honor and gratitude and love for all."
Norma Van Horn