I am living...

Here’s the thing, what I’m doing with my life confuses me. I meet people and when they ask me what I "do", I say "I am living."  It's an unorthodox answer, to be sure.  I spend my days feeling my soul in the woods. How is that even a thing? And yet, it is critically important.  I bring that wooded self home with me. To my family. To my loved ones. It brings forth in me my greatest humanity. A new perspective. The energy of the woods fills me. A holiness and depth infuses my cells. 

I do not bring forth one form of energy: money. (Yet!) I bring forth another: living. How could that be without a category? So overlooked, bringing forth living, humanity.

I live on the fringe of two cultures: nature and humans.  

My husband and I have an interdependence in our partnership. He brings forth that one form of energy that our cultures singularly defines and names and values: money.  I bring forth another, nature. He is particularly constituted for more interaction with the outside world than I am right now. I do best one on one, in small doses. With lots of space in between. 

One way is not more right than the other, it is simply more right for one of us.  It's about finding the right place for us.  I am blessed that this is an option for us, to be sure. 

​We rely on what the other one brings to the home to provide it for the other.

The me, or rather the energy that filled me, when I participated in the money energy, did not nourish him or my boys in the same way that this does. We are all better off for this division. And what I contribute matters. He sees it and values it. He is the first to remind me when I forget and fall into the old metrics. 

They are both energy, and we need both.