I'll not pretend
I’ll not pretend to be emotionally available for something for which I am actually not emotionally available. In the past I have done so to protect the “feelings“ of others, or to be liked. Or to keep the social smoothing in place. Nobody needs that. Nobody actually needs that. And, if they do, it is not my responsibility. If I am unavailable, I am unavailable. It is not personal or rejection or a lack of liking someone, I am simply unavailable.
To act otherwise is an exaggerated sense of my own importance.
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Norma Van Horn