"I trust you to be free," was today's lesson from the woods. Whoa. Applying this concept to those we love most is serious detangling, deconditioning work. It goes like this: in every exchange, simply offer this short prayer to the other person during the conversation.
It instantly detangles and deconditions the other person, and ourselves, from the weight of taking emotional care of, and responsibility for, the other.
In our culture, the price of assimilation within the power structure requires us to keep the peace, and manage other people's emotional experiences of us.
It is diseased thinking to believe that we can take responsibility for that which is out of our control, but it is deeply ingrained.
And so we smile when we feel like frowning. We do when we feel like resting. We pretend on the surface when we feel differently in the depths.
And we pay the price - the internal separation that occurs within our bodies when we deny our truth. And this keeps us small and running in circles, and carrying something too heavy.
When we are only meant to be free.
Healing entails realizing how much we internalize and take responsibility for other people's emotional experience of us, and just how freaking heavy that weight is. How it feels like suffocating to take responsibility for it, and how *unnatural* it is to outsource our wellbeing to the fickle vagaries of another person.
It is far cleaner, and more responsible, and more grown up, to take complete responsibility for our own truth, and for our freedom, and to trust another to be free. We do not owe anyone our emotional validation or availability, or to pretend we are anything we are not.
And so, from me to you, "I trust you to be free."
May your truth set you free.
Norma Van Horn