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Not mine to carry

5/14/2019

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To the ancients. To the ancients, to the ancients, to the ancients. I am carrying something that is not mine. What is mine is underneath this. In order to carry what is mine, I need to give back what is not mine. What is shrouded over mine.

That which is not mine was inherited, learned, absorbed, or experienced. But because it is acquired, it is not my natural state. Because it is not my natural state, I can give it back. In order to most fully carry that which is mine, I need to give back that which is not mine. To restore it to the highest original source. To restore the most original source, the original ancient one, to greater integrity. And to restore myself to greater integrity as well.

Healing consists of restoring wholeness. Restoring integrity. Integrity on the inside. Enabling us more fully carry that which is ours. Healing ourselves also means healing the original source wound as well. They go together, restoring integrity in one means restoring integrity in all.

We heal in response to wounds, barriers, pain. It is ours to heal if we are experiencing it. Conversely, if we are not experiencing it, it is not ours to heal, right now. We cannot heal for another. It is everyone’s rights and responsibility to heal what is theirs, what is appearing for them.

We cannot heal for another what is not ours to heal. This is painful as a mother, who wants to shield and protect her children from everything. The truth is, I do the world a greater service, by healing what is mine, modeling for my kids how to do it, teaching them how to heal. How to take responsibility for what is theirs.

How do I know the difference? If it is disturbing my peace - in one way or another - it is mine to heal. 

If it is directly happening to us, it is ours to heal. Period. If it is not directly happening to us, it is not ours to heal directly, it is ours to heal indirectly. By healing that within us that wants to point out and do for another what they are unwilling to do for themselves. We never know what is best for another, only for ourselves. I repeat: we never know what is best or right or true for another, only for ourselves. The desire to point it out to another, to force our opinion on another, is what needs to be healed. Having an agenda for another human being is what needs to be healed.

As a culture, we have gotten in the habit of talking about other people instead of talking to other people. Or talking to other people when we are not clear what we want them to do, when have not taken responsibility for what is ours.

Also, feeling outrage on behalf of another is disempowering to both. It dishonors the power of the involved parties. The opportunity is to heal the desire to control other people.

Healing the desire to control other people. Controlling other people is disempowering to all. Honoring the innate, God-given, power for everyone to heal themselves is where our power lies in this world.

We all have agency. Because we have agency, we have the responsibility and privilege to use it. Failure to do so is our responsibility. Doing so on behalf of another human being is disempowering as well. Nobody needs another human being to be their savior.  

Therefore. If something disturbs our peace, it is ours to heal, directly or indirectly. Every act of intentional healing restores our wholeness and integrity. It restores it in us, it restores it at the original source. It empowers us, and through extension it empowers others. Empowering ourselves to take complete responsibility for our healing, heals the world. 

Now, this is true on the human-to-human plane. We have to stop jockeying for position that is ultimately an illusion. Any belief in a power structure is an illusion. It is a choice. Because there are those that are truly at our mercy, vulnerable. Children. The environment. Animals. They are the ones that need our saving.  Not another human with agency.



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    Norma Van Horn

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