There's a metaphor that has been in my mind lately. I have been an overfunction-er in many relationships, especially at work. There's a feeling of having to do it all, or everything will fall apart. This entails taking responsibility for things outside of my control/boundaries. In truth, we're all tiny pieces in the giant puzzle of life. We don't have to be the entire puzzle, or even the entire section, we just have to do our tiny piece's part. And then let it go, pass it on. And then, not take responsibility for anything more than our part. If it falls, it falls. It wasn't meant to be. That also means that having hard conversations when someone else is not taking responsibility/accountability for their part..., but that is still better than doing someone else's part. Doing someone else's part feels terrible, and disempowers all.
I can either be responsible for my boundaries, or someone else's boundaries - but I can't be responsible for both.
This idea feels like a long exhale; more right-sized, contained, healthy, empowered, AND empowering for others around me.
It requires trust, truth, focusing on the process - not the outcome, allowing myself to give up control, and to actually be right sized.
And that is a leap of faith.
That's ok, I can do it.
Norma Van Horn