To honor an external commitment or agenda over internal truth is out of integrity.
Out culture is obsessed with having women be controlled and unemotional. Bullshit. We are all emotional beings, some of us are just more expressing of it. We feel we have to keep commitments because we made them. Bullshit. When we know differently we do differently. To stay a course that is clearly no longer aligned with internal truth is the far graver transgression.
But, it makes us highly uncontrollable and wild. And free. And that is the threat that comes from within.
To choose something, like a job or a marriage, is to honor it. Of all of the opportunities available, I chose this. And then to spend ones time bashing that choice, gossiping about it, abusing it, disrespecting it, is out of integrity. I chose this, and now I dishonor it. That is out of integrity.
To maintain an agreement while dishonoring it, places a higher value on an agenda than the truth. The truth is that this thing no longer fits. It no longer fits. And, being more attached to keeping it fitting, even though it goes against the truth of ones body, is to be out of integrity.
To be in this position is to a call to take responsibility for something. It is a coping technique to maintain the misalignment, the agenda. The agenda is overriding the truth. That is out of integrity, wholeness. To go against oneself. To go against oneself, for the purpose of an external anything is to be out of integrity. Use and channel that defiance towards self-love. True love starts with self-honor. If it isn't honorable within ones body, it can't be fixed on the outside. Honor self by not going against oneself any more. It goes against oneself.
It goes against the body to be out of integrity, out of wholeness. To maintain commitments that go against the body is wasting energy. It takes too much energy to maintain that agreement. The cost, the price, of going against oneself - that is what has to go. That is the properly channeled use of defiance.
Yes, there are implications of changing things like marriages and jobs or schools. Sadness. Grief. Loss. But if a choice can't be kept while in honor with oneself, then it is rotten on the inside. Integrity starts on the inside and creates the right choices on the outside. It doesn't start with an agenda on the outside and get filled in on the inside. It starts inside and grows outward.
Norma Van Horn