To heal, or not to heal, that is the question

This morning I read an article about how indigenous women in Canada are killed and terrorized at a rate six times greater than the general population. My first response took me by surprise: I noticed I felt a little bit of relief, because they are only 4% of the population.  So small, doesn’t really matter, this statistic seemed to imply.  Then, I noticed I felt a sense of blame for the women, for being in the types of circumstances that would enable that fate.  Disdain, almost.
I marginalized them.

As I observed my reaction, I realized I had a choice. It would be very easy to forget this story. I live in a different country, it’s a small number/percentage of people, and they are already terribly marginalized.  It would be very easy to move on and forget this abuse of power.

As I entered the woods I was thinking about my reaction, when the following words entered my consciousness: I do not get to choose what to heal, I only get to choose to heal…or not.
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In other words, abuse of power is ready to be looked at and healed within me.  Despite my disdain for the form it took, that it wasn’t a bigger issue, or more relevant to me and my life, or more ‘politically correct.’  This one is mine to heal.  I don’t get to choose the example, I only get to follow the flow.

Now, whether I face it and heal it, or not, is my choice.  To paraphrase Socrates, “To heal, or not to heal, that is the question.”

To heal means to follow the peace-process, to take complete responsibility for carrying this ancient energetic pattern and release it back to the highest original source.
To not heal it means to judge the women, to minimize the impact, or in other way rationalize it.  To forget about it.

Here is the prayer:

• Please help me.
• I have carried this ancient energetic pattern for so very long.
• This ancient energetic pattern is not mine to carry.
• It has kept me safe and protected me when I didn’t know how to protect myself.
• When I carry this ancient energetic pattern, I am unable to carry that which is fully and uniquely mine to carry.
• I now choose differently.
• I take complete responsibility for holding and carrying this ancient underlying energetic pattern within me.
• This ancient energetic pattern has served a purpose in my life.  It has kept me safe when I was unable to do so for myself.  I honor what it has allowed me to withstand, when I didn’t know differently.
• I now choose differently.
• I take complete responsibility for releasing this ancient underlying energetic pattern, back to the highest original source.  With honor and respect and gratitude for all.
• Furthermore, I release the pattern of invisibility, of dismissiveness, of not listening, of minimizing, of ignoring, and every other aspect of this dynamic, known and unknown, from my heart, from my mind, from my cells, from my energy. I release it all now with gratitude for the awareness and the choice.
• And, I release all sadness, pain, disappointment, fear, etc that arises as I release this ancient underlying energetic pattern.
• I release this ancient underlying energetic pattern, back to the highest original source.  With honor and respect and gratitude for all.
• I release it all now, to more fully carry that which is mine to carry.
• I choose the path of divine, peace. My own personal power. This path requires no dominion over any other being. I release it now, and in every form in which it appears in my life.
• With gratitude for all.

What is interesting is the realization that I cannot condemn in another what I see in myself.  I cannot judge any of the actors, or myself, for carrying this.  It is a part of the culture we all swim in.  But.  Now that I see it, now that I know differently, I can hold myself accountable for healing it, for releasing the underlying energetic pattern, and for choose differently.

We cannot be held accountable for knowing things we haven’t been taught.  We cannot be held accountable for practicing things that haven’t been modeled or practiced.  But, we can pay attention.  And we can choose to heal, every time we have the opportunity.  Every time our peace is disturbed, there is a pattern at work, that is ready to be healed.  We do not get to choose what to heal, the choice is whether we use our power to heal, everything that comes across our radar, or not.
Those women, living out that dynamic. Those men in their lives, living out that dynamic.  And the police officers, failing to support them, living out that dynamic.  There is simply so much pain, all around.  The most powerful act I can take is to remove my participation from this dynamic, to heal it within me.

This is the path of my life, now.  To see when my peace has been disturbed, and then to choose to release it.

As I see it, Gaia herself is releasing ancient energetic patterns also, and I am simply doing my part.

And…this is a practice. This is a counterculture practice. This entails seeing the ways of the culture, and choosing a different way. It is a radical act, and it is an ongoing practice.

And so, my commitment is to release every nook and cranny and particle of abuse of power that I encounter with in my own mind. Every single time. With curiosity, but no judgment. Only choosing a new way, again, and again, and release it in my own heart. ​

And, I know that when I take action in my own heart, I make radically different choices on the outside. Choices that come naturally and easily and obviously, without force, they come from my personal power. I live the power.