Many of us feel drawn to finding our "purpose," to feeling like our lives have meaning.  So we seek an external act or role or contribution in order to find this meaning.  

But in reality we are actually feeling disconnected from our own internal awareness of feeling meaningful, of feeling whole and peaceful and alive.  And so we seek something "out there" that will provide those feelings within us.  

We look outside in order to feel better inside.  This is ineffective, disempowered, and temporary at best.

And when we rely on any particular circumstance to be present on the outside in order to feel a particular way on the inside we are vulnerable to the state of the outer world for our own inner wellbeing.

This is disempowering.

The deeper truth is that we cannot create on the outside what we do not embody on the inside.  So, rather than seeking external things to fill an inner hole, it is more empowering to reconnect with our own inner disconnection, and then bring our wholeness to the world.

Because, as Mother Teresa said, there are no great (outer) acts, only small acts with great (inner) love.

Here's a quick 3-step path to finding your peace, finding your power, finding your purpose:

1. What changes do you want to see in the world?  What are the biggest problems "out there?"  What qualities do you seek to experience through the fulfillment of your dream/achievement/purpose?

2. Open your heart to embodying these qualities within yourself, right now.  Release all the barriers you hold within yourself to fully embodying these qualities right here, right now.  (Embodied Root Wholeness Process can help.)

3. Do the next right thing. And fill the world with the energetic signature of your whole, peaceful, complete self.  

4. (Repeat)

Several years ago I came home from the grocery store while talking to my sister on the phone about my nephews health.  He was having some health problems, and it was upsetting.  In that moment I felt worried, powerless, and helpless about my precious nephew.
As I entered the house, I walked into a beautiful scene: Jeff and the boys were playing legos at the table, and they were peaceful and joyful and in a bubble of love.  It was truly lovely.  And, while I registered the scene, I couldn’t see it because I was in my own pain.

I raised my voice to complain that no one was there to meet me to help bring in the groceries, and no one had opened the door for me.  (To be clear, no one ever did that, this wasn’t new, …but it was a Big Problem in this moment.)

As I was barfing on them, I simultaneously registered the impact of my energy and words had on my family.  It was like a soufflé that just cratered and fell.  Within moments, the boys started bickering with each other.  The beautiful bubble of connection and joy and safety was over.  

It was humbling and painful to see the impact of my actions, to see that I had the power to harm the most beautiful and precious of my relationships…that in that moment, because of my unprocessed and unfiltered energy that was being indiscriminately discharged at them, my boys were not safe with me.

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“In the 1960s, meteorologist Edward Lorenz discovered that even the smallest changes in the atmospheric currents, those viewed as being insignificant by usual standards, created huge discrepancies in developing weather patterns.  This phenomenon became known as the butterfly effect of modern chaos theory.  Even the slightest addition to the atmospheric current could create drastic changes in the weather patterns globally.  Something as small as a butterfly flapping its wings determined whether a storm would develop on the other side of the world a year later.  Chaos theory taught us that every current that enters into the flow has an impact on the overall pattern.”

• Sacred Instructions by Sherri Mitchell

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I see these two stories as being deeply interconnected.  In the same way that the smallest of imaginable atmospheric events - a butterfly flapping its wings - can directly create events that take place a year later on the other side of the planet, my energy can do the same thing.

These are the exact same dynamics, because, of course, they are both comprised of energy.

This means that not only did my words and actions have an impact that morning, but unless those actions are taken responsibility for, are addressed, atoned, and responsibly healed, that that discharge of unprocessed and indiscriminately discharged energy will continue to live on and shape future events.

It’s humbling to know that I. am. that. powerful.

But, it’s true.

And that is why my wholeness, your wholeness, the wholeness of all, matters.  Because the absence of my wholeness - disturbed peace and indiscriminate energetic discharge - will cycle and expand and grow, and ultimately wreak havoc in some altogether distant moment.

And, just as we create those future events through our unprocessed energy, we are simultaneously impacted by previous unprocessed energy that took place in the past, and in a different place.

These energies will continue to be recycled and regurgitated, growing ever larger, until we learn how to take responsibility for the quality of our energy.  Until we take responsibility for our wholeness.  Until we stop seeking to blame and judge others, and simply honor the energy, release it, restore our wholeness, and stop the cycle.

We are powerful creators, and our wholeness matters.  The problem is, until we embody this wholeness and see our place in the greater whole and see how we perpetuate that which we do not heal, we will seek to change people, places, events, out there.  

It is the act of growing up to take complete responsibility for the quality of our energy, and taking responsibility for our energy, and restoring our own wholeness before engaging on the outside, is an act of tremendous empowerment.

And once we experience it, we will never look at the world the same again.

My identical twin sister is not talking to me right now.  This is one of deepest sources of rejection fathomable to me - we are genetically the same person, and from a scientific perspective at our point of origin we were the exact same person.  (Of course, our genes have altered through our respective life experiences and other factors.)  

In a sense this is one form of me rejecting me.

There was an exchange which preceded this, and 'incident,' but the exchange didn't happen in a vacuum, it happened within the ecosystem of our greater relationship and all of it's energetic patterns.  

Within my family lineage rejection is a pattern.  My maternal grandmother rejected and excluded my mother before my grandmother died, leaving my mother with the shambles of maternal rejection and no recourse.  In my perspective, this precipitated a decades-long health issue that my mother (now 75) is still dealing with today.

At various times in our relationship I have rejected my sister, and many, many others, in my life as well.  I understand both sides of the pattern.

Awareness of the absence of my sister's presence in my life occurs daily.  And, pain cycles regularly as well, along with my longstanding coping techniques of blame, judgement, anger, etc toward her.

And, through this experience, I have started to practice something different.

Because as tempted as I am to judge her reaction to the exchange on that day, that would place the nexus of my pain outside my body - it would mean that I would need the outside to be different in order for me to be happy.

And, deeper still, this is an energetic pattern.  It actually isn't personal, and it isn't about the 'reason.'  It is energy subconsciously driving a reaction in order to protect oneself.

So, as the recipient of an intimate 'rejection,' I have the opportunity to grow through this experience and heal the energetic pattern at it's core.  This is what that looks like for me:

• Become aware.  Every time the pain and judgement and blame cycle, notice that I have left my body.  I am experiencing an energetic pattern, which always results in me leaving my body and looking externally for a solution to internal pain.  This energetic pattern will *always* leave me powerless and disembodied.
• Once I am aware that I have disembodied and have left my body, re-embody.  Come back into awareness of what is happening within my body.  Feel into the body, feel the energy of the pain.  This is what I am trying to avoid knowing, this pain is why I left my bodkin the first place.
• Honor that this isn't what I want to be happening.  Really feel into the statement, "This isn't what I want to be happening.  I wish this was different.  This hurts."  All of these types of statements.
• Release the energetic pattern of looking externally for things to be different so that I can be happy, of judging another for anything, of seeking to control another so that I can feel peaceful, of blaming others.  (The Embodied Root Wholeness practice is my way of releasing the pattern.)
• Repeat this process every time I become aware of the energy of blame, of judgement, of anger, towards her.

The result after going through this process is peace.  The situation hasn't changed - my sister still isn't talking to me and I still feel that absence every day - but I have found my power in the situation and I have restored my own inner peace.  

And, this leaves me feeling compassionate and loving toward her.  Which is quite beautiful - I don't need for her to behave in any particular way for me to love her.  Her approval of me is independent of my love for her.

And, hopefully through this experience, I can begin to heal my own patterns of anger, judgement, rejection and blame toward myself and toward others.  And, in doing so, not perpetuate and pass on this pattern so easily to my children.  Perhaps this is how we heal generational, inherited, ancestral patterns of pain - healing them one by one in our own hearts.

In any event, this has been a profound experience of healing in my life.  I find myself feeling grateful for the opportunity to heal this pattern within myself, because it makes me more free.  And being more free is bliss.

If this is something that resonates for you and you would like to explore this topic in a guided way, please reach out for a guided Embodied Root Wholeness session, or schedule a free 15 minute exploratory chat to see if this is right for you.

Blessings for the road.  We are all just walking each other home.

“What do you mean, ‘all alone?’  What about all of us?”

This morning I was walking through the woods, contemplating a relationship dynamic in my life right now.  I became aware of feeling that I was all alone on this path, on this journey, and that I was about to be even more alone.  So I called in everyone I could think of to talk to: all of my angels, guardian angels, Archangel Raphael, Jesus, Mary, everyone.  

And this was the first message I received. In fact, they were referring to the energy of the nature that was all around me.

When I feel ‘all alone,’ I am disconnected from the life that is happening all around me.  And there is life, and energy all around us, all the time.

Because everything is comprised of energy.

And then, this message: “Your safety is not Out There (meaning with the other humans, in the culture),  your safety is inside.”

“Be like one of them - the trees, the animals, everything.  Stand alone in your sovereignty, but belonging because you are there.”

“You belong because you belong.”

"You belong everywhere you go, because you are there. It is not a matter of belonging or not belonging. It is a matter of where your energy feels good and where your energy doesn’t feel good. Your safety is found on the inside.”

We are all comprised of energy, and we all are interacting and engaging with the energy all around us, all the time. That’s why you can never not belong, your energy is there and it’s engaging with the energy all around, and so of course you belong. You belong because you’re there.  

It is never about whether other’s perceive you as belonging, at an energetic level you are already belonging. 

Instead, it is a matter of discernment. Do you want to belong here? 

When you are fully embodied and connected with your wholeness, is this a match?  Does this feel good inside the body?

The first step, always, is there a store once wholeness and re-embody oneself.

My take away from this beautiful experience is that we humans understand belonging and safety all wrong. Completely upside down.  We think safety is achieved “out there,” through external approval.  Because that’s what “belonging” really means to humans - external approval.  And so we think that it’s possible to not belong somewhere.  But at an energetic level we always belong, because our energy is engaging with the energy all around.

We think we want to belong because then we’ll be safe, but true safety is never found outside the body.  True safety is embodying our wholeness, and discerning if an energy feels good to us or not.

Because the surest path to losing connection with our wholeness is to override the energetic truth in our body that we should stay when an energy doesn’t feel good.

So, rather than seeking safety out there, by belonging, let’s see this for what it is energetically - seeking approval by disembodying and disconnecting from our innate wholeness.

True belonging and safety are 180’ opposite - we are always safe when we embodying our wholeness, and discern if the energy around us feels good to us inside our bodies.  If it is a match.  If it is, we may enjoy it like a tree enjoys the forest - by being sovereign and contained within itself, equal with all other beings around us.

And if it is not a match, embody oneself and trust oneself to handle walking away from an energy that does not feel good.

Blessings for the road, dear traveller.

~And, many, many thanks to the messengers in the woods today.  I trust you know how much I needed this message. 
​

Yes, I’m sensitive.

Of course I am, I’m comprised of energy.  And so is everyone and everything else.  

Energy is constantly flowing, engaging, interacting, and shifting.  

As I move through life, the Energy of Life that is flowing through me, is encountering the Energy of Life that is all around, and that is in everything and everyone around me.  As the energies interact, some of those energies feel good…and some do not.  And, as a sensitive, I feel it when the energies interact, and it affects me when I’m engaging with energies that feel good and don’t feel good.

My energy is affected in these interactions.  Sometimes a little, and sometimes a lot.

The problem isn’t with being sensitive.  

Being sensitive is natural.  Speaking the language of energy is the most innate, natural thing in the world.  Energy was our first language, long before we learned to use words.

The problem isn’t that I feel the energies, it is that our culture does not recognize that that is what is happening, and so it doesn’t have healthy practices as related to our experience of processing energy and engaging responsibly and constructively with other energy.

Instead, we seek to dominate and control energy.  (Which is madness, really.)

And so, when we engage with the energy of another and it doesn’t feel good, we use our brains to analyze and judge and blame and control.  We seek to control the other, so that we can restore our inner equilibrium.

This is childish, and it keeps us endlessly cycling the energy of hierarchy, inequality, domination, and control, rather than addressing the root cause and managing our energy with integrity.
The Embodied Root Wholeness path offers a path of growing up, of managing our energy with integrity, of restoring our own wholeness and peace, regardless of what is happening on the outside.

When we know our how manage our energy with responsibility, when we know how to restore our own inner peace and wholeness without controlling another, we are free.

And so is everyone else around us.

For as long as I can remember, I have experienced cycles of feeling invisible.  It happened again this weekend, in two different relationships.  As I found myself ruminating on feeling loneliness, fear, confusion, etc, and powerless within the dynamic, I realized that I was looking externally for validation, acknowledgement, recognition.  

I was taking the behavior of the two relationships, and the perceived lack of attention and reciprocity, personally, and I was viewing their behavior through the lens of my belief/pattern that I was invisible...that my needs didn't matter...that they have the power to harm me.

I was taking their behavior personally, and giving it the meaning that I was invisible and powerless.

It's a pattern of disconnecting from my awareness of my innate wholeness, and then wanting others to give to me what I am unwilling to give to myself.

Can you relate?

As I realized what was happening, that I was seeking inner peace through the external world rather than finding it within, I remembered to turn inward.  To listen to myself, to honor and acknowledge and validate the energy that was cycling within.

And then, following the Embodied Root Wholeness methodology, released the energetic pattern that believed that I could ever be disconnected from my innate wholeness.  

By re-establishing my awareness of my innate wholeness, I auto-magically released those two people from the responsibility of making me happy.  I disentangled my wellbeing from their behavior, and re-embodied my inner peace.  I found my power, and found a new path forward.

This path, of turning inward before turning outward, completely changed my perspective on what was happening, and restored my peace with the present situation and moment.

If this sounds interesting, please reach out.  I'd love to share this path with like-minded travelers.

When we lose our center, when we experience disturbed peace, by any "outside" event, experience, interaction, person, perception, our culture teaches us that we will restore our peace when that "thing" changes.  That our restored peace is found "out there," when something is rectified.

This is actually infantile thinking.  It is more deeply true that the reason we lost our center is because we hold a belief that goes against our wholeness, that we believe that others can harm us, that we are taking the behavior of another personally.

This happens because we become entangled with the outside world, and forget our sovereignty, freedom, and wholeness.

We learn to disconnect from our sovereignty, freedom and wholeness in the culture, in our families, in our communities, in our religions.  And these patterns of disconnection are disempowering and upside down.

Losing our center is a call for going inward, and honoring the pain that is cycling, so we can heal ('restore wholeness') within ourselves.  Only after we have restored our center can we see the situation clearly enough to know what to do, what do say, and to whom.

Losing our center is a call to going inward, clearing the path within back to our wholeness.  Only then will we know our true power, our True Nature, our innate wholeness and peace.  Only then will we be free.

Everything, everything, everything, everything is an aspect of Source.

This is true for the unseen realm and the seen realm.

Source is comprised of energy, and so are we...and so is everything.

Energy underlies everything.

We are born deeply connected to our awareness of our aspect of Source, and energy was our first language.

We lose this awareness of Source, and of the language of energy, through the cultural conditioning process, or cultural programming.

(When very loving and well meaning people taught us how they knew how to be safe in the world, how to be controllable.)

If all things are an aspect of Source, they are all innately equal, sovereign, free, and whole.  Everything - from the unseen realm to the seen realm - is inherently equal.

At the heart of our cultural programming is an inherent belief in inequality.  This belief in the inequality of all things is a direct result of disconnecting from our awareness of our Wholeness, of our Aspect of Source, of our awareness of our inherent equality.  

Of the Source-ness, or equality, of all things.

Believing in inherent inequality is a byproduct of this disconnection from Source, from our awareness of our wholeness, from being One with all things including Source.

When we are connected with our wholeness, with awareness that we are an aspect of Source, we automatically see the same in all other beings.

Because we are all energetic beings, this belief in the inequality of all things is held energetically in the body.  Energy is the medium of life.

Because the belief in inequality is untrue, and because is was acquired through the cultural conditioning process and is comprised of energy, it can be released.

Releasing the energetic patterns that hold the beliefs in place returns the accumulated and pent up energy back to the Energy of Life to be free and to flow freely.  

And, over time, as we release more and more of the patterns, we no longer experience life through that lens.

The first step on the road to 'healing,' (restoring wholeness) is to become emotionally available to ourselves.

This is a first step in that process - learning how to listen to ourselves again.  Learning how to trust ourselves again.  Learning how to trust the truth in our bodies, and steer from there - no matter how inconvenient it is on the outside.

One way to do this is the Embodied Root Wholeness process.  If this sparks a yes within you, and you would like to learn more, please reach out for a FREE 15-minute chat.

"The point of spirituality isn't to just act like everything is pretty and positive all the time, and like everything will always work out.  The point is to give you the tools to turn complex situations into opportunities and empower you to work through the heavy emotions you face in your daily life in a healthy, productive way."
​~Unknown